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27.08.2008, 21:42 quote

choochi0
choochi0 Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 4699 Location: United Kingdom, England, Sussex
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I was in a relationship for a while and now I've been single for over a year.

Most of that year I was quite happy to be single, but now I'm getting think I need some company again, but I think I've forgotten how to do it all.

I'm not really sure what I'm asking, but I guess I need some advice as to what approach to take.

Any advice is greatly appreciated - If you can decipher this......

 

27.08.2008, 21:43 quote

jambojam

All I can say Choo having been in a similar boat and I know it isnt much is be open minded about the whole thing Very Happy

 

27.08.2008, 21:50 quote

LittleVixen
LittleVixen Joined: 11 Oct 2006 Posts: 7382 Location: United Kingdom, England, Cornwall
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I'm in similar position, but have been on my own for about 2 years, now I have someone who wants a longterm relationship, I will just say go for it, things will soon come back to you, you never forget....it's like riding a bike Wink
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27.08.2008, 21:54 quote

choochi0
choochi0 Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 4699 Location: United Kingdom, England, Sussex
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I guess I'm finding it difficult to get the confidence back that I felt I had before.

It was so easy then - or are my glasses rose-tinted?

 

27.08.2008, 21:57 quote

jambojam

Could I take the liberty to say that perhaps you are more worldly wise now and have possibly a more descerning taste Very Happy

 

27.08.2008, 22:05 quote

choochi0
choochi0 Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 4699 Location: United Kingdom, England, Sussex
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jambojam wrote:
Could I take the liberty to say that perhaps you are more worldly wise now and have possibly a more descerning taste Very Happy


Thank you - I hope that is true.

It is more that I used to always have the right words to say and if the result of those words was positive great and if negative then I'd just move on the next one, but now I seem to be more worried about that negative result and it stops me from saying/doing the right thing.

It is a very frustrating feeling!

 

27.08.2008, 22:13 quote

jambojam

choochi0 wrote:
jambojam wrote:
Could I take the liberty to say that perhaps you are more worldly wise now and have possibly a more descerning taste Very Happy


Thank you - I hope that is true.

It is more that I used to always have the right words to say and if the result of those words was positive great and if negative then I'd just move on the next one, but now I seem to be more worried about that negative result and it stops me from saying/doing the right thing.

It is a very frustrating feeling!


Perhaps before relationships weren't the main focus in your life, they happened then great if they didn't then what the hell, my perception to your post is that perhaps a relationship is becoming more of a main focus in your life, therefore your atitude to it has changed which might result in focusing more on what might go wrong.

Keep you head up and keep smiling, I'm sure that you will find your feet Very Happy

 

27.08.2008, 22:29 quote

choochi0
choochi0 Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 4699 Location: United Kingdom, England, Sussex
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I'm working on it. Thanks for the advice.

 

27.08.2008, 22:32 quote

jambojam

My pleasure Choo Very Happy

 

27.08.2008, 23:41 quote

mirrorpool
mirrorpool Joined: 28 Aug 2007 Posts: 1437 Location: United Kingdom, England, Norfolk
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You've got a great personality choochi0 just get back to flirting and not looking for the 'one' the less you're conscious of looking, you're more likely to be reflecting your true self, which I'm sure will attract someone you like eventually.
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28.08.2008, 10:18 quote

Bliss23
Bliss23 Joined: 21 Mar 2007 Posts: 4327 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Edinburgh
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Aw... Choochiou! Just jump back in. You're fab. You seemed to know that already...

As the Kung Fu Panda would say it... Awesomeness and attractiveness don't charge. Wink Laughing Cool
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28.08.2008, 10:34 quote

choochi0
choochi0 Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 4699 Location: United Kingdom, England, Sussex
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Thanks for the advice everyone - its is very much valued.

Also thanks for the compliments - I wasn't fishing, honest!

I am trying not to look, but since I've been single it would seem that no matter what I do I have it in the back of my mind. I can't seem to shake it and it has this way or disarming me and disarming is what I used to be able to do before I got this way!!!

 

28.08.2008, 10:57 quote

chikhai

Flirt with everything in sight and don't be afraid to make a fool of yourself.

Date people just for the sake of it. This won't win you any friends, but fuck 'em (that's down to you whether you take it literally or not, but it might not be a bad idea). Its not for their benefit.

Get hurt again. Preferably over someone who doesn't even really mean that much too you. Then you'll realise that most of the time its only your pride that's been dented (even with the ones you thought you loved).

Going back to dating after being in a long term relationship is quite a culture shock, but once you get back into it and realise how much fun it can be (in fact I'd argue the chase is often better than the end result, but that's just me) then you'll have confidence in abundance.

 

28.08.2008, 11:02 quote

choochi0
choochi0 Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 4699 Location: United Kingdom, England, Sussex
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chikhai wrote:
Going back to dating after being in a long term relationship is quite a culture shock, but once you get back into it and realise how much fun it can be (in fact I'd argue the chase is often better than the end result, but that's just me) then you'll have confidence in abundance.


I'm terrible for that too. It's the chase I always loved. It's my lack of practice in the chase that is getting me all cross.

 

29.08.2008, 11:05 quote

titwhipper
titwhipper Joined: 17 Apr 2008 Posts: 1408 Location: United Kingdom, England, Hampshire
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mirrorpool wrote:
You've got a great personality choochi0 just get back to flirting and not looking for the 'one' the less you're conscious of looking, you're more likely to be reflecting your true self, which I'm sure will attract someone you like eventually.



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