Ok, so this woman I've been seeing a bit of recently.

Or trying to anyway...

First date went well, and she said she wanted to see me again.. she was about to go on hols to Spain and seemed a bit preoccupied with that when we were trying to arrange the next date, which is understandable so I didn't think much of it.

All the time she was in Spain she texted me most days, and at one point suggested us getting together the day she got back because she had really liked me and found herself missing me a bit.

Just so happens that the day she got back (yesterday) was my birthday, so we were going to go out and do something. But then she texted me and said she was too tired after the trip (they went by coach) and did I mind if we gave it a miss... I thought that was a bit arse, and that she could have made the effort to at least have a quick drink or something since it was my birthday, but once again I expected her to be knackered after the trip and didn't think too much of it.

So we arranged to meet up today instead, and she said she would text me this morning after she had done a few things. Well, that's right, she didn't.. about 5pm I texted her and said ok what's happening then, to which she replied that she had completely forgotten we were meant to be meeting and had got preoccupied with other things.

Er, ok.

So she suggested I go over to her place this evening, which I did. I was there about 20 minutes and her phone went and she got called into work (she manages a small place that houses 5 people with learning difficulties) on an emergency.

Er, so that was that.

Now, I know she gets called into work sometimes as it's part of her job, so I have no objection to that.

I suppose the thing is that I am not really getting a vibe that she's that interested. I mentioned this to her a while ago and she insisted that she had liked me and WAS interested. But she seems to be one of these people who has so much going on in her life that any relationship she has with a bloke is going to come second to everything else.

I've been in a relationship (if you can call it that) with someone who was like this before, and to be blunt it was SHIT. I felt that I had no real importance in her life, and she only squeezed in times to see me when she had nothing better or more important to do.

I really don't want to get into anything like that again, it's just not what I'm looking for. I can see signs with this new woman that this is what it's going to be like and it's making me have serious second thoughts.

I mean.. "forgetting" that we were meant to be meeting...

On the other hand I actually quite like her, and it would be nice to see how things develop if they are given a chance. I just feel that she's always preoccupied with other things in her life and as such it's going to be difficult to even see how things do develop.

What do you all reckon?

You've already really answered this yourself, havent you? Yes she's nice, but so are a zillion other women out there waiting for your path to cross theirs, women who won't 'forget' they wanted to meet you, women who won't put everything and everyone else before you.........so get PMing!!

What's confusing is she's saying one thing, but acting differently. Like saying she really liked me, missed me, and wanted to see me as soon as possible, and then being too tired the first time and forgetting the second time.. heh. I suppose I'm wondering if I should hang in there for a bit and see if maybe things will calm down now the trip is over with and she's back to day to day life. Not sure, really.

Sorry to say Moose I had pretty much a carbon copy of what you're describing a couple of years back, when I broached the subject there was a reluctance to discuss that there was a problem, I pretty much did what you're wanting to now and I went with the flow for a couple of weeks until I got the " I view you more as a friend " line.

It's up to you mate TBH but what I will say is trust in your first instincts they are seldom wrong in my book, in the long run you may wish you had, I know looking back that I tried to blinker myself to what was going on, keep your eyes wide open mate.

Sadly, some women just dont have the balls to say they changed their minds. She prolly does like you and doesnt want to hurt your feelings....and you know the "Oh i've just had a phone call there's an emergency...." is the oldest trick in the book to get shot when you havent got the balls to say "i've had enough now, please leave"....sorry to sound so harsh moose, but its not exactly like you have a history together to try to save, get out while you can intact, I say! (some people seem to thrive on someone running after them while they play hard to get too).

Ah, I hear the chime of (quite recent) familiar bell. Go with your gut instinct. If your gut instinct is to move on, then the trick is not to dwell too much on would *could* have been, you'll just tear yourself to pieces.

Go with darkhorse.
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I can see both ways, so with the knowledge of what most people are saying to 'move on' I would do as Bliss sugests and give a few more days to the situation as you seem to like her.

She obviously has a demanding job, and she may well have returned to some stressful working conditions. One aspect of STRESS can be FORGETFULNESS and that even means things that someone CARES about. Maybe you could ask her a bit more to tease out the answers you need to know.
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I've just this minute had a conversation with her about all this, instead of just discussing it she got all defensive and tried to turn things around on me as if I was the one with a problem. About what I expected was going to happen, to be honest.

I'm afraid I got a bit pissed off and had a bit of a go at her. Including calling her a time-wasting bollocks merchant.

Tum te tum.

Another one bites the dust.

Aww
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I am sorry to hear that Moose. But at least its done now, and not say 6 months down the line eh? Keep yer chin up! x