Never shit on your own doorstep , ...unless you cant help it

Don't wank with BBQ tongs

Look before you leap

if you walk into a dark place never bend over to pick anything up

give mowgles money and he shall guide you down a psychadelic enlightening path.

im sorry

Underwear goes on the inside, pants goes on the outside

unless your superman of course.

if you're having trouble putting stockings on, lick your palms and run them up the side of your legs


or if you're posh have your butler do it.....

Pick a quiet moment to become a FPW

If it smells funny......don't eat it......throw it away.