Hello everyone, can I have some advice please?

On anything in particular ???? ....... oh and dont forget i am very honest .......

I'm not sure... what have you got?

Don't eat yellow snow.
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I already knew that.

Beware of any entertainment experience described as 'zany'.

Watch out for anybody who calls himself 'Uncle', whos not your uncle.

Never look inside a Big Mac just before you eat it.

Just do it.

If that doesn't do it, just undo it.
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Have a drink, you'll feel a lot better....for a while anyway

If you've got stiff knees and a bent brain then you're built wrong

Also remember to use Lube .........

Save a child choking on an ice cube by pouring boiling water down its throat

Always wipe from front to back.

if you ever shave your balls don't apply aftershave

Brush beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Lavender is the opposite of shit.

Lavender is fragrant, looks good, has medicinal properties and smells more as it dries out.

Shit is pungent, looks like shit, causes disease and smells less as it dries out.

Never ask a waiter to recommend you something. They'll screw it up 90% of the times.

Don't go on an amusement ride when you've had a Coke.

I have lots, but I don't remember any right now.

Oh yeah... Don't drink and text.

Oh and best of all: Don't drink and drive.

Actually jus' don' drink.