Not sure what to call this topic or where to put it. My question is:- How can you write a personal message to a registered user without it sounding as if you are after something? I guess it's the nature of the site but I sometimes want to write to some of you girls but don't bother because you'll probably think I had a hidden agenda. Men have a bad reputation that I have inherited (damn them !!!) ........ and why must the guy make the conversation anyway?

Why not chill out and post here for a while, instead of looking to make a move on someone via profile browsing ? That'd be one way of showing off who you are and what you're about without an agenda or purpose in sight.

I think as long as you aren't sending a message that says "Hey babe, you horny??" you should be fine, lol. Just be yourself and show interest in the girl- compliment them, point out similar interests, say you'd like to learn more about them, etc. I don't assume every message I get is a guy after something, so don't think every girl will think that of you. And like CharmingDave says, posting on here is a way to let people get to know you. Good luck!

Jus be honest with them and be urself, and throught the conversation tell them wat ur looking for, i find somtimes if a message goes off course, i alway ask them wat they are honestly looking for cause if its 1nite stand or watever then they have got the wrong girl, all u can do is be honest and be urself

First line of contact, what not to say.............................................
I think you would look good sitting on my face!

yesterday i got a very charming message.....

He removed the pic pretty quick didn't contact me again either

I wonder if it was something i said
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Hi again SunshineSuperman - I agree with CharmingDave post here for a bit may be a good start. Otherwise give the PM a subject that is not just Hi - and maybe talk about something you have read in the receivers profile and maybe link it to yours? As in oh you like to go to gigs I saw ....... last week.

Try and avoid - all mentioned above and - Hi how was your day today? Which may sound nice and simple and non threatening, but it is boring unless you already know the person, if I get 10 of the same I will just delete the lot of them.

Also no text speak, how r u? takes no effort at all.

I do agree with you on one thing, you said why must the guy make the conversation anyway?

I am guilty as charged - I can be a bolshy hmm madam but there is little chance of me making the first move. Not going to get in reasons here but its just not going to happen.

So you guys on the whole have to do the chasing!

As for hidden agendas, see what the person has for the "looking for", if it includes (as yours does) just chatting or friendship first then you can chat away.

As usual I have gone on for too long so enough, but good luck.