i have allways kinda fancied my best mates girlfriend but never thought too much about it as it is out of the question. i really value the friendship i have with him and would never want to jeopardise it. recently we have been going out as a group with other friends and his g/f and i have been having a laugh and getting on really well. she started saying strange things to me that sounded a little flirty but i shrugged it off as i thought im reading it wrong. i thought there is no chance she would look at me that way. the other night after a night out she seemed to be trying to tell me something, then when i got home i saw a text from her that read along the lines of ''im sorry im crazy about you... really sorry you can tell joe(my best mate) if you like...'' i sat staring at it not really believing it for a while then went to sleep. i didnt reply as i was scared my mate might read it. i have not been able to think about anything else since and its really depressing me. i just want to tell her i feel the same and hold her but i know i cant. every time our eyes meet it killes me. i think i love her as she is everything i want in a woman, problem is she is not mine and never can be. how can i stop thinking about her and move on? i cant even think about other girls as she is always in my head, its drivng me crazy. i know what i have to do, move on, but how?

First i would try to find out how and why her last relationship ended. Sorry to sound so negattive, perhaps she genuinely has fallen for you - but it also sounds like the oldest trick in the book, use the guy's mate to get out of a relationship - see how SHE has no intention of dumping her fella? She wants YOU to do it for her, YOU tell him that you fancy his girl, she can then either act shocked and break up your friendship and she keeps her fella, or he dumps her and she's home free..........

Try to avoid her for a while. You obviously know that you can't move in on your best mate's girlfriend, it's just not done. To do so would be dishonourable and disloyal to your best mate. Girls come and go, but he will probably always be your best mate. Just suck it up and deal with it.

yeah i know.... its really hard though man i think shes awesome. she is not the sort of girl who would try to use me to break up with her fella. she is honest and genuine, i have known them for years.
i know i cant have her but what do you do when your heart wont listen to your head?

I've went through a very similar experience a while back.
Started getting emotional texts from a mate's girlfriend.
Looking back on it, it seems that she wanted out of the relationship, and I just happened to be one of the closest guys to her in her life. It's not like she could go out on the pull!
If you do like her, now's not the time to do something. Leave it a few months if they break up. Break-ups take a lot of repair-work. Maybe when they're both settled, they'll be ready to move on and accept, but not now!

I echo pretty much was Samatron has said. If she really wants you then she will do the breaking up, leave it a respectable time and then approach you. So i would hang back for a while. Or she may the type of girl who can't survive without a man and needs another in place before she gets rid of the present one.

Just be careful.

yeah im going to leave well alone. im havent hinted that im interested and im not going to. prob wouldnt move on it if they did split up... just messed my head up for a while. cheers for the advice, just told me what i needed to hear as i couldnt talk to any of my friends about it. its a pretty depressing situation but thats life.

Good luck & take care x
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