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Home >> Advice >> do i let my daughters father see her?

16.04.2007, 09:55 quote

loubylou
loubylou Joined: 28 Oct 2006 Posts: 1697 Location: United Kingdom, England, North Yorkshire
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my ex who is also my daughters father has decided that he wants to start seeing her aftwer 3yrs he has kidnapped her when i dumped him beat me threw things where she was when she was a baby etc n he also has a new baby with somebody else.Because of the violence he was advised to see a supervision centre re contact when i finally became strong enough to leave him but he never did. My daughter has special needs and i dont in this case think it a good idea at all, i would never trust him with her and i feel it may mess her head up, views anyone?

 

16.04.2007, 10:02 quote

xKemalx
xKemalx Joined: 11 Jan 2007 Posts: 14 Location: United Kingdom, England, Kent
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i honestly think that its not a good idea at all, just because 3 years have passed, it does not mean he has changed. you and your daughter have been through enough. it was his desision to do those things, so i say no. dont let him anywhere near her.

 

16.04.2007, 10:07 quote

loubylou
loubylou Joined: 28 Oct 2006 Posts: 1697 Location: United Kingdom, England, North Yorkshire
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thats what i thought too, thanks kemal

 

16.04.2007, 10:11 quote

xKemalx
xKemalx Joined: 11 Jan 2007 Posts: 14 Location: United Kingdom, England, Kent
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16.04.2007, 10:19 quote

Anonymous

I wouldn't let him near her either hun, even in a contact centre its easy for him to put on an act like he is the all caring father, but at some stage he would have unsupervised access and I just wouln't trust him.

 

16.04.2007, 10:27 quote

Anonymous

yeah i would be very wary about it all to be honest.. and personally i would go the court way to get full custody, as if hes still violent he will prob go mad if you dont let him see her

 

16.04.2007, 10:38 quote

loubylou
loubylou Joined: 28 Oct 2006 Posts: 1697 Location: United Kingdom, England, North Yorkshire
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he isnt on the birth certificate nor has he any parental rights i didnt think about him kicking off here will be vigilant and call police if he turns up

 

16.04.2007, 10:59 quote

dodgy999

loubylou wrote:
he isnt on the birth certificate nor has he any parental rights i didnt think about him kicking off here will be vigilant and call police if he turns up


You need to get a solicitor involved and get a full court order sorted.

If you havent got one and he turns up, the Police will only ensure everyones safety and walk away - as above, an ACT can be put on to suit an occasion.

If you have a Court order of which he is aware, then if he contacts you, then he *could* be committing offences under the Harrassment Act.

A conviction/Caution/Warning for that would give much added mileage to a susequent parenting/visitation order - or lack of one!

There are also all sorts of legal nonsense about Fathers taking/kidnapping/etc (or not!!) children, if there is no "order" in force.

What is actually written on the certificate (or not) bears no real relevance these days.

Good luck,
Steve

 

16.04.2007, 17:06 quote

Anonymous

Louby, personally I wouldnt let him anywhere near her Evil or Very Mad

 

23.04.2007, 12:43 quote

Anonymous

Sorry but this man sounds and acts like a total creep. The things he's done in the past are unacceptable. I wouldn't let him anywhere near your daughter for both your safety and hers.

A leopard never changes its spots after all. UT

 

23.04.2007, 13:29 quote

Anonymous

If he's not on the birth certificate, he has no legal rights over her.

Do what you feel is right for your daughter Louby. As she is the centre of all this, it is she that comes first.

 

03.05.2007, 14:33 quote

Anonymous

loubylou wrote:
my ex who is also my daughters father has decided that he wants to start seeing her aftwer 3yrs he has kidnapped her when i dumped him beat me threw things where she was when she was a baby etc n he also has a new baby with somebody else.Because of the violence he was advised to see a supervision centre re contact when i finally became strong enough to leave him but he never did. My daughter has special needs and i dont in this case think it a good idea at all, i would never trust him with her and i feel it may mess her head up, views anyone?


With all do respect....are you on crack. NO WAY IN HELL WOULD I. Do yourself a favour cutie....Log all contact he has with you etc, and get those bobbies involved to see what can be done. Probably a restraining order. Tape the calls also.

 

03.05.2007, 15:19 quote

Claymorewolf
Claymorewolf Joined: 21 Apr 2007 Posts: 57 Location: United Kingdom, Scotland, Glasgow
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If he is her father, then he deserves to see her. However I agree with Dodgy999, get a solicitor involved. If he's been violent in the past, then he might still be. And no I don't condone whatever actions he has taken in the past. But he may well have changed, and he does deserve to see her.

However, if she doesn't want to see him, then fight for her decision. If you personally stop them from seeing each other, then she may well resent you, for putting her father in a bad light. Ask her if she wants to see him, and if she does, get a solictor involved. If not, tell him that she doesn't want to see him, and your not gonna force her to.

Just my own views on it mind.

 

06.05.2007, 13:14 quote

scubawallace
scubawallace Joined: 28 Apr 2007 Posts: 1132 Location: United Kingdom, England, London
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redoctober wrote:
Do what you feel is right for your daughter Louby. As she is the centre of all this, it is she that comes first.


Totally agree...

Sounds like he's only out to make trouble, avoid like the plague! Dodgy in this instace doesn't sound dodgy at all, take his advice...
_________________
www.laradiodelamer.com/

 

17.07.2007, 06:26 quote

Anonymous

Louby, my friend is going through this right now. She takes them to an SC and (her choice but I think she's a dick for doing it) she would let him back in their lives.

Yet another reason to feel proud to be a man. Any wonder decent guys get down when in competition with so many "good guys" out there.

 
 
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