Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated... I've searched online, but can't find much. It's most likely a problem for which one would need a therapist... However... I thought I'd ask here, maybe y'all know of some websites/books which would be good on the subject...

So how do you start taking responsibility and risks?

I've recently found myself in a position in which I seem to avoid all responsibilities, risks or unpleasant choirs.

Now this ain't so bad... Problem is... Keeping on this track, things I need to solve never get solved, time moves on and such.

As I've been able to mantain this for quite a while now, obviously the things needing to be solved aren't burning...

Problem is, yet again, I don't do something else... I just escape in stupid mind distractions, whatever it takes, just so I don't do what I really have to do.

Now I've always had problems with decision making. And always had someone who'd catch me if I were to fall...

Problem is (yes for the last time), now there's nobody there to catch me if I fall... And I'm sort of frozen and unwilling to take any risks, responsibilities or do important unpleasant choirs...

Any ideas on this?
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Hmm... this sounds an awful lot like me. I keep being reminded by various people that I should aim higher and go places etc etc, blah blah blah. On paper, yes I should be in a great position to do whatever I want, but when it comes to it I'd rather go for an easy life. Hence why I'm self employed rather than going throught the stress of writing a CV and applying for jobs with a lot of responsibility.
I know what you mean. Time ticks by and I still seem to be in the same place. Dunno what the answer is though

Salvador Dalí said 'talent without ambition is like a bird without wings.'

Maybe we are just Dodos?

No, no... That's not my problem.

What you're saying is that you chose a particular life style which is pretty fulfilling to you. It could be better, but you're rather satisfied with what it is.

I've chosen something like that too, but that's not what I was speaking of here.

Whatever your life options are, there are moments in life when you either feel the need to/or must take higher responsibilities, risks. And you can't avoid them forever.

That's what my problem is. There are some risks and responsibilities that I need to take now. Instead of taking them though, I'm just hiding from them and doing anything else but taking care of them. They're not high risks or responsibilities, but they're higher than my comfort level. However, as I said... They cannot be pushed away so all I'm doing is delaying. That's my problem.

As John Dorian would say... Sometimes when you don't solve a problem and wait enough time, it eventually solves itself. LOL

Unfortunately that's not the case here. Not right now.
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www.lizmadsen.com

When it comes to risks, I tend to find the more I dwell on something, the less likely I am to do it. Don't think too much - natural inclination will always advise us to avoid risks. Jump in with both feet before the brain has a chance to analyze the implications and damn the consequenses!

As my friend Keith would say: 'Get on with it'

And he's right.

I know what you mean, Bliss, I just thought about it too much and rambled on about something else... in an effort to avoid doing something important no doubt

Sadly, I have to say, I disagree with my learned colleagues, oakman and kadushu.
Spend a bit of time on it. You have already, right?
Will a little longer make any difference? An hour, or two?
Considered all the options.
Lay it all out on paper, in two columns: ‘Pros’ & ‘Cons’.
Write in what you have to do or know to take the various actions.
Extend it backwards in time: If I’m going to do that, I’ll need to do this first.
Extend it forwards: If I do this, the likely consequences are…
Look under the headings. How much is written for each?
The idea of the lists is not to give you an answer at the bottom.
You can’t put weights, or values.
You’re not going to be able to cancel one side out against the other, or end up with a sum total.
It’s just to get everything you think is relevant out of your head and on to paper.
You might find – along the way – you uncover something unexpected.
It may seem like a huge waste of time (and paper! ) except…
You should have covered all the permutations and end up knowing what you definitely want to do and what you definitely don’t want to do.
In deciding the ‘whats’ you may also decide the ‘whys’.
Ask yourself, ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’
Then screw it all up, throw it in the bin, say, ‘Fuck it!’, and do what you feel like.
(Cos by then you’ll know! )
I like the Beckett quote:
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
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Why do you see those 4x4 off-roaders being driven over any road bumps so slowly?

Now Bliss, it might be a whole lot easier to respond to this if you said what the risks are. I mean this could be a risk of crossing over the M25 by foot at 7am in the morning, or the risk of embarrassed from breaking/knocking something over in a store.
The thing with risk, I think, is it is mainly about your perception. The perceived risk, and the reward for taking it. If you really want that reward and the risk seems likely to run in your favour, then you would run that risk. If their is too much uncertainty of the predicted result of running the risk then you are going to feel that the perceived risk is not worth the reward, especially if that risk is life threatening lol.

Look at a sky diver. They have a parachute and then a back up chute in case the main chute fails. A plan B, so maybe you need to formulate a plan B? or even C, D and E? Lol. Without knowing what the risks are and the reward I don't think I can say anything of much help. However, if you want to start to learn to take more risks in your personal affairs, take up a risky hobby. Start doing "other" risky things and maybe your fear or avoidance of risk will begin to change as you learn to let go of the fear

I hope there is some sense in that...

taking responsibility & risks... hmn.. a rather deep thought perhaps ?

Responsibility is, unfortunately part of being an adult ( which sucks ) Taking risks however, depends on the kind of person you are.

Do you chance that shot on the black into the bottom left, when you know full well that without enough spin on it, the white will drop into the bottom right ? or do you play it safe and tuck the black up into the cussion with the white down the other end..

Every time you open the front door, you take a risk, every time you explain yourself to someone, you take responsibility for what you've said..

what really matters most is why your feeling the need for responsibilities and risks.. Has some one said something to you that made you stop and think, or did you suddenly decide you wanted to.. ?

i'm not actually sure if any of that makes any sense, but it does to me !
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Maybe seeing somebody about it would be a good idea, -it's decision in itself (you seems to be toying with the decision anyway ) and could prove symbolic at the very least - If you crack it, I should imagine, as well as taking more tough reponsibilities, it could make things a lot more exciting and fun as regards the risks. Probably learn about a the whole gamut of decison making processes. No harm in giving it bash.

If you're used to making decisions with somebody else around, I wouldn't be too hard on yourself; probably trait and habit that you like to naturally coperative or debate descisions, with another - problem is you start the debate, and a vague conversation in your head and doublethink, if you're acting alone.

It's not something I'm good at, I too find the 'mudane' (the really quite important ones) responsibilities & decisions hard. I find hedonistic/condfidence ones (like singing on stage) hard as well but they are the ones you can throw yerself into depending on mood or without thinking too much eventually - plus you kinda know the timespan. The habit of evasion on 'sole responsibility' descisions, probably needs some rituals or techinques from one source just to get the ball or dice rolling, for us who aren't naturals.
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"The tighter you grasp Lord Vader, the more it will slip through your fingers."

The only one stopping you is you and only you have the power to change it. You know what your problem is,you told us, you are just going to have to force yourself to take risks until it becomes second nature.

Thanks for the ideas, you guys.

The "need" to take them is not because I want to spice up my life, but more like because not taking them affects my life in bad ways. However taking could affect it even more in bad ways. So that's why it's hard. Well one of the reasons anyway.

As for this:

Now that's simply lovely said. LOL

But I suppose there's not so much to lose there. Not just yet. So it's somewhat easier to take risks with pool. LOL
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it was meant metaphoricly ( sp ? ) i know you like playing pool, hence i chose that to grab your attention

For everything you do in life, it only takes one simple error of judgement, or bad timing, to turn it upside down, thus is the point of taking a risk..
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I know it was metaphorical. I just really enjoyed the metaphor. LOL Tha's always the key to effective communication. Relating to something familiar.
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I kind of agree with handsel, putting it all on paper and see where your thoughts lead you.

Bliss, you said that not taking action/making a decision is a 'bad thing' - it can't be THAT bad, else you would have been prompted into doing something about it - you wont like me saying this, but sometimes the 'comfort zone' isn't all peaches and cream, and yet we stay stuck in that bad place because it is actually easier to just sit there moaning about our lot and doing nothing, just having others reassure us yeah it's bad.....

What I am saying is that if you don't like where you are at, only YOU can change it - take the bull by the horns and as Susan Jeffries said "Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway" - by the way, that is a cracking book that you might find helpful!

I think Hansel gave you the best addvise , i have spent lotts of times writting stuff down

Sometimes to work out what the best direction was , but other times to people that i felt fustrated with ..!

Then i simpley decided i had my frustrations out on paper and could just through it and end it in the bin ...

Some people would say crazy , i used to think they were master pieces and throught they should all be put in a book ..called THE RAT RACE..

But i have to say , my first responce having lived with a boyfriend with simular problems ..which turned to depresson and started drinking..!!

There is only one person that can really help you in the end and that is YOURSELF..!!People can give you addvise but you have to move forward .

Life is out there you have it in front of you , some like my brother was full of life very talented , but he lost his life to brain cancer , that is when life kicks you in to gear ..!!

You realise how lucky you are to be here , and every day counts and we should live it to the full , PLEASE , Do not waste time thinking and wondering .

Live life possative , get out there , stop thinking to much into things,Once you try the writting it down bit , i think it will be a beginning , and you will not have to in the end , as i have found ...

It is very rare i do this any more as you grow ..!!Anyway GOOD LUCK , Let us know how you progress..!!

Love
Pendragon