[color=dark red][/color]hi there, i know this is going to sound crazy... but my husband beat me and my little boy up on the 29t of jan this year. i called the police and he was taken from the house. i made a statement. any way to cut a long story short, my husband (mark) went to court on the 5th of feb, an pleaded not guilty. even tho there has been photo`s take of my sons and my injuries. i now have to attend court on the 19th of march to give my statement. i am frightened stupid. like i say, this is going to sound crazy.... but for a little while after he left, i wanted him to come back home, even the is on bail conditions not to come anywhere near my home, or contact me. i have been told hat a bloke that can do this will never change... thank goodness i am thinking with my head an not my heart now. but i still cant forgive me for turning into a monster . he used to be so loving and caring until he came out of the army 2 years ago.i am so angry wit him all the time. how do you move on from this, i am frightened i will never trust another man again! i dont want to be bitter and twisted to all blokes. if there is such thing as mr right, i do not Wat to frighten him away.

Well done for having the courage to do something about it

We're not all bad, however as in most cases, the bad ones are usually the most spoken of. Give yourself some time, look after yourself and your lad and i'm sure you'll meet someone else
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I think you've done really well to leave an abusive relationship, although I'm sure it must be difficult in still accepting that your husband turned into someone you no longer recognise.
I have several friends who WERE 'army wives' and have similar stories to tell.

The really sad thing about all this is that many (not all, some have told me their help was good)ex-forces men don't get enough support and counselling to return to 'normal civilian life'. Their experiences have changed them, and often their anger is turned inwards as depression or outwards to those people they actually love or even strangers in the wrong time and place.

I had a friend who volunteered to help at a place for the homeless one Christmas and I remember her telling me how in that area many of the homeless had been ex-forces men who couldn't 'fit in' to society and some were mentally unstable.

Abuse is abuse and no matter how much somebody is loved or understood, no one should be expected to live with mistreatment.
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First things first - dont even comtemplate looking for another bloke until youve overcome the scars the last one left behind - concentrate on yourself and your lad - having to cope on your own and be independant is no easy thing but its the best thing you can do for yourself right now - once youve come to accept what has happened to you and learnt from it the rest will start to fall into place. Dont let your son grow up thinking its acceptable for a man to do this to a woman. Any decent bloke will respect your boundaries and wishes and go at a pace that is both comfortable and respectful for you. You have control of your destiny - no-one else. All power to you and the best of luck x

Well done candy for not going back...and maybe these people should be put on some kind of register, so anyone in the future can be warned.
Knocking about children is bat, and could harm them for life. Which can make the problem perpetual.

Its surprising how many people go into another violent relationship. So be careful and be safe.

Hi Candy 0344.

I just hand chance to read your post. men can be total scum. I'll say this and if someone has a problem with it then they can just forget it. Men are like leopards when violent, drunk, idiotic men think it's all well and good to abuse their partner and children IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM then they just don't change their spots.

I was a victim of domestic violence but my partner was female and completely understand how you feel and what you're going through. The most important thing is that you are there for your children and that they are there for you. there are risks involved in domestic violence where it comes to the affects it has on children. the psychological damage can be severe if not taken care of.

I promise you from my heart, look inside yourself for strength and most importantly your children and friends for support when you need it.

Personally I would love to get my hands on the scumbag who has caused so much damage to you and ensure he would never harm another soul again.

Reading this just brings me to tears and I hope you find strength through your achievements, friends and family. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope this doesn't put you off finding someone who will love you and your children.

We aren't all like him I can personally assure you of that.

take care hun.

with love and hugs.

lew