hey guys could really use some help i no that im only 18 but i really hate being single, im not like my mates i dont want to settle for one night stands. quite a few of my mates have been in relationships for 2 years or more and i just want to get into a decent relationship aswell. my relationships in the past have been up and down and i find myself picking arguements and not beening able t trust the guys im with. weather the arguments are because im seeking attention i just dont no. i just could really do with some idvice to get myself sorted and into a decent relationship where there are no picking of arguments. im not the most attractive female on here and i can be very shy at times but ive been on dating sites for 2 years and all the time i just find friends and nothing more.
please help it would be very much appriciated =)
xx

If you find yourself picking arguments with people about trust, i would say don't commit to anybody until you're sure that you can trust them. And i know that it sounds harsh, but trust issues are normally pretty deep seated, a counsellor may be a good idea.
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Vidi Vici Veni

I got in touch with my feminine side. She emailed me back saying if I ever contacted her again she'd call the police.

I agree with WSS here, if you are picking arguments because you cant trust the person you're with then there is no point in being with them at all. You need to figure out why u cant seem to trust these ppl, especially if you havent been given a reason not to trust them. Otherwise you're not gona be able to give yourself completely to them, and vice versa. I think the best of relationships happen when both ppl trust eachother completely..

Not being the most attractive woman in the world is not gona be a factor when it comes to a relationship, the person wll be with you for you. IMO, inner-beauty is much more desirable and fulfilling
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-In order to be irriplaceable, one must always be different-

I think I'd agree with Jeggae. How you see yourself is usually something to do with issues like this, self worth has a powerful influence over how we interact with people around us.

When you said about your looks, I just had to take a peek at your profile. I'd say maybe if you leave your glasses on next time and looked in the mirror, you'd see the same gorgeous face we can see.

Put on some nice gear, look in the mirror and tell yourself you look great. Go out for the evening and keep thinking the same thing to yourself. You'll notice a difference in the way other people react to you just by doing that. Feel good about yourself and others will start to notice you. If you feel good about yourself, you won;t be so worried about whether or not to trust a guy, you'll know he won't want to leave you.

Hey,

I had the same problem when I was ur age, altho im a fella, but it doesnt look like that makes any difference.

For me, I was young, putting too much pressure on myself and potential partners, and basically just didnt know myself or what i wanted or when I had a good thing going.

You're young, its a lovely thing that you want to find something meaningful, but meaningful things have to grow. You need to get to know yourself, I would suggest taking things slower, not trying to rush into something serious, focus more on having fun (this doesnt mean one night stands, if u respect urself and the guy respects you then you should be able to date and have lots of fun before love becomes an issue).

A serious point I dont get, even with people my age (2 is why people go out looking for a serious relationship? Me personally wouldnt want to be in a serious relationship with someone I didnt have fun with, so whats the problem with starting off with fun relationships?

It takes all sorts to make a world. Some can opt for fun and others prefer stability in their lives.

Why at 18 be in such a hurry to settle down? You have got you whole life for that to happen, just enjoy your youth, go out and try to experience as much as you can! I know a lot of people that settled down at an early age to then regret it later on and felt they missed out on so much!

Being single doesnt mean one night stands at all, go out on dates, keep your options open and just enjoy it!

I trust tryst's words, so im not going to go into the same thing.

But i am going to say, dont push yourself into a relationship just because you want one..you'll end up forcing yourself to love that person and that never ends brightly. A relationship isnt the most important thing in the world and this may sound dickish..and i dont mean it in that way..but honestly, dont go for a relationship if you have some deep personal problems because thats not fair to your partner. Get your shit sorted out first..you'll be happier for it and who knows? while your doing that you might meet someone.

thanx everyone for your comments i think the main problem is my self esteem like some of you said. thanks again everyone youve really helped =)

Self esteem and confidence comes with time! at 18 just enjoy your life and try not to worry to much! And also try not over analysis things, us women have a thing with doing that over everything!
Good luck!

thanx everyone for your coments really did help and now ive met an amazing guy and things are going good =) so thanx again for all the comments xx

I used to want a girlfriend, then I turned 18 and my life began!

There's plenty of time to have a serious relationship when you're in your mid-20's. Make the most of being young and go out and enjoy yourself.

On the whole "trust" thing...

My ex girlfriend had huge issues with trust, so much so that it destroyed our relationship (and my heart along with it I might add).

The problem was that she had a reason to not trust men. Her father cheated on her mother when she was very little, and her whole life she never had a father figure. She just thought that’s what all men were like. She didn't know any different.

I loved that girl more than anything. Wanted to be with her my whole life. But her trust issues hurt us so badly. I wasn't allowed female friends. Couldn't go out if there were women there that I knew. Wasn't allowed to go out with certain friends because she didn't trust them and thought they would end up setting me up with other women.

One night, I stayed over at a friends house. My best friend. He’s married, I was his best man. I simply stayed there because by the time we finished on the 360 it was gone 3am, it was raining and we were both drunk to be fair, I stopped there. Perfectly legit, would never cheat (Had it happen to me once, could never do it).

Anyway, long story short... What followed was a week of constant fights, arguments and rows... Because of course, she didn't trust my best friend, I HAD to have cheated on her... And that was that. I told her "either you trust me or you don’t, but if you don’t, I cant be in this relationship" and she took the easy way out.

I found out afterwards that her mother dated ONE guy after her father, and the EXACT same thing happened to him, too...

So what I'm getting at here is that trust issues are one hell of a killer in relationships. You can't say you love somebody if you don't trust him or her, it just doesn't work that way. You made a huge step by admitting you have a problem with it, and that’s good, it means you’re not blind to the issue. It’s a very hard thing to overcome. I know, I was engaged to a girl, together five years, and she cheated on me... I couldn't trust anybody for a long time. It hurt so much, I just thought "its going to happen again, why bother...".

But you need to remember that once you admit defeat like that, you ARE defeated...
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"Maybe it's not my weekend... But it's gonna be my year "
Gav, 26, Telford - Teacher/Games Designer

missjb is right just relax a bit and have some fun. Its easy to over think situations and the more you worry about finding a partner the harder its going to get. Also relationships tend to sneak up on you when you least expect it, so count your self out of the running yet, your a pretty young woman who is still growing into her sexuality, dont rush things just let your self enjoy life.