love hurts?

You need a man with a small penis then

*cough*

Dont be so obsurd

Flip a coin, how could you have two to start with, bith of a funnt situ

Hey there cashmoneydayle,

I think you've just found a fellow canuk...and I used to live quite close to where you are...I can actually point to Petrolia on a map (I was in St. Thomas, South of London).

Anyway about your dilemma(s):

Issue 1 - The ex

Okay, so first he leaves you out of the blue, mostly for school reasons. You and he were best friends before, and you're not now, and he wants you back.

Advice: This whole thing seems like nothing more than a simple breakdown in communication, and I know it seems like a cliche or something but take it from someone with experience - communication is everything. If he had instead told you that he'd like to put some aspects (physical?) of your relationship on hold due to suffering grades and stuff, would you have broken up? Really this is a thing guys will do all the time, they'll just drop everything that seems to be getting in the way of what's important, not realizing the emotional harm they're doing to the people that love them. (I know I've done it a couple times). That's probably why he wants you back - he probably didn't want you gone in the first place, but didn't realize it until you weren't there any more.

Issue 2 - enter the knight in shining armor

Okay, so the breakup happened. And out of the blue a new guy pops up and puts into contrast everything that you didn't really care for about your first boyfriend, and really shows you some of the things that you were really looking for in a guy.

Advice: This is a very dangerous situation emotionally. Deep down, you still love boyfriend #1, but you really really like guy#2... I really dont have much by way of specific advice here...it all comes down to you really. You have to konw what it is that you want, and from the general tone of your postings, it doesn't sound to me like you know anymore...like you're feeling lost and pulled in different directions, everybody wanting you, and you not wanting to hurt anyone more than you need to, but no matter what you do SOMEONE is going to get hurt... (talk about your runaway sentence structure - my english teachers would be ashamed )
I can honestly say that I've been there - and I know how you feel. Truth is, this isn't going to be easy on any of you. Is a true relationship what you really want? Or are you more looking for a good friend with occasional benefits? What do you hope to gain from any of the relationship options? Do they have a forseeable future to you after school?
Perhaps you just need to tell both of them that you don't really want to date anyone for the time being, and let things cool off a bit. Talk to each of them individually and just be open and honest to them and to yourself. This is the part where it really sinks in that relationships take work....welcome to the real world...nobody said it would be easy.

Issue 3: love hurts

Well now, that's not really the first that I've heard of something like that... Now bear with me, as I'm just going by your profile here... You're currently 17, technically you've been physically ready for love for roughly 3 years now, but that doesn't really mean much. You said it's incredibly painful for you and I'd love to help... love can make or break any kind of relationship - and I know that if I can't please my woman, i'm not getting anywhere at all. What kind of sexual experiences have you had? I know you said earlier that you used to have a lot of love, but what is a lot for you? Are we talking daily, semi weekly, weekly, multiple sessions a day, etc? What was your first experience like for you? Did you talk about the pain issues with your boyfriend, and how did he respond?

So many personal questions I know - and if you don't want to post anything public, I understand completely. Feel free to write me personally at nightwynd@gmail.com any time.

For me love is a wonderful and beautiful thing. It should be cherished and enjoyed, and savored. If it's painful for you, try communicating what feels good and what doesn't to your partner. Try different things too - if it's just a size problem (he's too big) then stick to oral for a while, then move into a good toy that feels good for you, and work yourself up to bigger and bigger things. The beautiful thing about femal physiology is that it's extremely flexible. But like any muslce, you should stretch yourself out slowly and carefully.

Well that's my two cents for the moment, and I look forward to hearing from you!

Ciao all.

And we have a winner, someone who makes sense! Not that no one else did before... no offense meant there. And you poor sap, you can locate Petrolia... good gosh.

As to the questions that I picked out of that mass of an answer (which was actually very good advice.)

Do either of them have a future with me? As far as I know, neither. My ex is staying at school in Sarnia for a fifth year, and the new guy is at Fanshawe for musical production. I'm not staying a fifth year, I'm taking a gap year to go live in Switzerland and work. Then I'm heading back to ......... insert university here where I'm doing my undergrad degree and hopefully going to med school after that for spinal surgery. My ex, as far as I know, wants to play hockey, or do something with hockey (go figure eh). And the new guy wants to end up in europe. Which, given the countries he wants to go to, well, he thinks will be easier, I can say from personal experience, he's going to have a rough time.

And no FWB (Friends With Benefits). love only gets in the way, one of the many reasons I'd rather... get a Brazilian wax or endure an entire year of just Shakespeare then have love again. And I don't want benefits period. I rather have something where he is happy with a kiss. But I know that's impossible. I haven't met a guy yet that is happy with nothing but that. And I can't have friends that while I'm talking to them are thinking 'God I want her naked on top of me again.' Sorry I'm a girl and I actually like to talk about things, and have ppl listen to me, tho the more I think about the more I realize people don't listen to me anyways... but that's beside the point.

Alright, I personally don't care what people think about me, so here goes... I've slept with 2 guys, both of which are the guys at which I have a problem with right now. A lot of love to me is love in general, now. Before, it was one day a week, about 3 times that day. And the first time sucked, and the rest of them after that as well. And if I was in pain, well I either faked it to cover it up or told him to keep going. It just, never felt good, or okay, or really anywhere near halfway decent.

And as to the last thing. a) it doesn't feel good, nothing really does. And b) I'm not flexible, that's the problem. Everyone knows their bodies, and know mine and I don't stretch. Stick a foreign object in my body, it takes a year of the object being in their round the clock for the hole not to shrink. My lip rings, 'bout a year and half. My 10mm gauges, well it's been over a year and they shrink in 10 minutes.... The same applies to all the muscles I use in sports. For me to stretch and not shrink back, it takes two hours of a day, five days a week, at least 8 months at a time. Stop for a week, and goes back to it's previous abilities.

I'm kinda f**ked eh. 'Scuse my language.

First off Dayle, I'm glad that I made sense to you...god knows I can barely make sense of what I wrote

I'm glad you're honest enough about the Guy issues, it's probably not in your best interests to have that kind of relationship at this point in your life anyway. Just stick to good solid friendships and leave the physical and emotional BS out of it for a while.

I do however find your physioligy intriguing... (I'd kill for a spell checker right now ) I've heard of some incredible things about some people, but this is a new one by me. I'm wondering if you are still developing in certain areas...expecially muscle growth and development. You ever talk to a Doc about any of that stuff? I'm talking about just the regular stretching and the incredibly fast closure of piercings...I know they can close quick, but 10 minutes? Fastest I heard of before that was about a day or two.

The love thing is concerning however. I can understand intercourse as being distinctly unpleasant for you, but what about other things? Hell, let's take the men out of the picture entirely... please forgive the personal nature of this question and don't read into this too much, I'm being superficial here: do you, or can you masturbate to orgasm? May seem like a stupid question, but I believe it is an important thing to know. I've heard of women that were completely unable to orgasm in any way for years...and I can't help but feel sorry for them. I'll have to look into some cases to see how that kind of problem can be overcome (pun NOT intended).

Well, whatever else happens: enjoy your life!! Switzerland sounds like a blast. My uncle went there a while back, and he got to schmooze with the King over there. Went sight seeing in a limo and everything. Can't quite remember HOW he managed that, but I think the friend he went with was a distant relation of the local royalty. Must be nice to have connecitons

Ciao for now!